A Crumbling Tower
by LampPostInWinter
Summary: This is Part two to How it Began... M for later Chapters! Amel is back at the tower and is shocked at the state it is in. Now finished... Hope you like it! Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

There was something cold and wet nudging my face. There was no such thing as sleep at camp… Little naps here and there, yes sometimes, but a full nights rest? Who was I kidding, that would never happen. I grumbled for a few seconds before sitting up to scratch Snookums on the top of his head. Every time I see this dog I think back to when we found him… It took me weeks to think of a name. I'm sure Snookums would have preferred something more manly. Actually, Alistair tried to convince me to name him Rufus and Zev wanted me to name him Solders Bane after the poison. As much as I loved that dog, he was dumber than a box of rocks.

I guess I couldn't stay abed forever, with the blight looming and all, so I went about my morning rituals. I dressed in my least tattered robe, brushed out my long hair, ate some bread and cheese, and then greeted the other camp members with an overly-cheery smile. The only other person who was as cheerful as I was had to be Leliana than again she was always happy, I think. As we broke camp she would always sing. They were songs of battle and glory, or love lost and hearts broken, and sometimes she would sing of the things we had done over our travels. As her melodic voice went on in the background all I could think about was the tower. Even at the distance we were there it was like a black shadow taunting me with memories of Jowen… of Cullen. Of course I knew Jowen had to be safe for the last I saw him was when he told me I had to come back here to save a child.

Connor, he was the son of the Arl of Redcliff, a young boy who had started to show signs of magic. His mother, who was fearful of her child being taken from her and sent to the tower, hired an apostate to teach him to hide his power. That worked out badly because now we are on another trip to another place to try to get one thing done… This seems to always happen to us. I wondered where Cullen was or if he thought about me at all? He probably didn't, the way I left him with not a word to him. It had been three long years since I had been to the tower, I would always put off coming here. Thinking that it would be our last stop after we got the Urn, but here we were only a half days walk from the place I used to call home. With a sigh we set off towards the Tower.

When were got closer to the dock I felt like a child again. Not knowing what to expect once I was there, scared, confused, and wanting to go home. I now thought of our ever growing group of misfits as my home, my family. Even Morrigan who was hard to get along with at first, but now I considered her a dear friend maybe even a sister. We walked arm in arm giggling about something one of us said, Alistair shooting us outrageous looks, Sten as stoic as ever, and Leliana humming in the background. We were all halted by a Templar at the dock.

"Hey you, you're not wanting to get across to the tower are you?" Carroll asked.

"Uh, yeah we are…" I said giving him a confused look.

"Oh well I was told not to let anyone across, The Tower has been locked up, no one gets in or out," He informed me.

"But I'm here on Grey Warden business. I have the papers to prove it!" I almost yelled in frustration, I kept wondering what was going on at the tower.

"Let me see those… Oh the Grey Warden seals, so you're pretending to be one of those, are you? Well I have papers here saying I'm the queen of Antiva!" He laughed.

"Aren't queens female?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Don't speak that way to royalty!" He snapped.

"There must be something we could work out?" I pleaded with him.

"Well that dark eyed temptress over there, the Tower would be too boring for her. You could leave her out there with me, it gets lonely out here." He smirked looking at Morrigan.

"Oh, I have been looking for new prey!" She said with mock glee.

"Prey?" he asked sounding scared.

"You could all get in the boat; we will have to row ourselves across the lake because, the boy will not have use of his eyes or his limbs." Morrigan said with a chuckle.

"So, you want to go to the tower? How about now? Let's go now. NOW," He pleaded with me, his eyes filled with terror. _Good job Morrigan, _I thought to myself, than nodded being almost dragged to the vessel by a frightened Carroll. So here we were in this boat, the great shadow of a tower looming ahead, and my thoughts still seemed to gravitate towards Cullen. _Please be happy to see me… I don't know if I could stand it otherwise! _The thought struck me dumb, could it be that after years of being away that one Templar had so much power over my emotions. I knew my fruitless flirtation with a certain ex-Templar would do nothing to stifle those feelings I still had for Cullen, but even now, did I still love him as much as I did when I left? The bigger question was, did he still love me? Or had he ever loved me at all?

It was hard not knowing if the man you loved for years and still loved to this day, had any feelings for you at all. I sighed when the boat came to the dock, _I guess this is it. The moment of truth… _My mind was at war with my heart, and yes I knew about the bigger picture, about how my minds inner dilemmas paled in comparison to grand scheme of things, but right then I didn't care.

"Are you ready? You look as if you're going to cry." Alistair said in a worried tone. It made me smile that he cared at all.

"Yes, I would say she looks a tad greenish." Morrigan put in looking leery.

"Guys, as much as I don't want to be here and feel as if I will reach at any moment, I'm fine and would like to get this over with. We have a child to save!" With a trembling hand I opened the front doors to the tower.

Oh how things had fallen apart, the knight-commander informed me that the tower was overrun by abominations and demons. He wanted to see the Right of Annulment. With that right the Templars would go through the tower and kill everyone and everything. I could not let that happen. What if there were innocents, I could not let them soak my home in the blood of innocents and defenseless children. So we were locked in the tower, sent to reclaim what the Templars had lost. This is where we found Wynne a mage I met at Ostagar before the battle. She was the grandmotherly type, with her I felt as if I were at home and could confide in her. We cleared the tower up until we reached the Templar's quarters.

It looked a lot different than I had imagined it would, aside from the fact it was in ruins, I expected it to be some grand living space. Instead it was modest and just not what I wanted it to be. We worked our way through most of the rooms on this floor, when we came upon a sloth demon.

Once the door was opened and everyone filed in almost instantly the air seemed to shift around us. My eyelids felt as if they were weighed down and my limbs were filled with sand. _Maybe just a short rest here would be good?_ My mind asked, I wanted to cry out in frustration but it seemed too much work.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N Okay so I have been up all night writing this because I have been lazy… and my brother came home from Italy for a few weeks and writing was the last thing I wanted to do… So here you go Chapter 2… **_

_**P.S. I don't own DA:O…**_

_**P.S.S. I hate the Fade so I wanted to get it over with; I also changed the Warden's dream/nightmare!**_

'_I'm home._' My mind whispered to me as I found myself in my old bed, my old room. How did I get here? Why could I not remember anything before this? The sound of an opening door drew my attention to the other side of the room. My eyes widened when I saw Cullen smiling warmly at me. _'Shouldn't he be mad at me?' _I wondered, _'Why do I feel this is all wrong?" _He was dressed in a soft looking white shirt, a leather jerkin, tight pants, and sturdy looking leather boots. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him; I had never seen him dressed this way. He looked so sexy in something other than his heavy plate armor.

"Amel, I've been looking all over for you." He said his voice so smooth it made a shiver run down my spine. This didn't seem right; I couldn't put my finger on why.

I smiled at him, "Cullen I've been in my room all day." Why would I say that? I didn't remember thinking the word coming out of my mouth in a husky purr. _'Why can I not control my speech? What is wrong with me? This has to stop!" _My mind practically screamed. "My love, come and give me a kiss, I have not been able to think of anything else but you." I sounded like I was pouting, I never pout!

"You only have to ask my love and I am putty in your hands." He came closer. My legs deciding that now was the time to listen and I was off the bed backing away from him. His once warm and sultry smile twisted in to something more menacing. His eyes, that I knew to be kind and loving, became hard and cruel. His laugh was harsh, "So you want it this was do you? Should I be the big bad Templar?" I was completely backed against the wall, when before I could blink he was on me. He had me by the hair, his nails biting into my scalp. I cried out in pain, that only made him laugh gleefully, "Amel did you think after you left without a word to me I would be kind and welcoming?" He hit me so hard across the face, stars danced in front of my eyes. He yanked my hair, half dragging me toward the bed. _'Not like this!' _I chanted over and over in my head, it wasn't until I was thrown to the bed, my head hitting the headboard, that it hit me. _'Oh Maker, I'm in the fade! This is not Cullen this is some demon doing a piss poor job mimicking him!' _Even with my head throbbing in pain and 'Cullen' slowly climbing over me, I managed and snide laugh.

"You are not Cullen, he would never **rape** me. What we did together we did out of love. He never raised a hand towards me!" With that I shot him with lightning, throwing him off me and against the wall. 'Cullen' slumped to the floor. I ran my tongue over my split lip, "DIE DEMON!" I screamed, throwing a fireball at him; his eyes looked in shock for a split second before he was incinerated.

After that I was thrust into the Raw Fade, were I spoke with my old friend Niall. I unlocked all the islands killing the demons controlling each on and hindering my path to sloth, saved my friends from their own nightmares, and here I stood Sloth slain and one step closer to freedom. The images of the counterfeit Cullen's face right before he was hit by the fire would be forever burned into my mind. I knew it was not my Cullen, but seeing his face made me wonder if he was still alive.

"Look in there, they have a Templar trapped. That poor thing I wonder if he is okay." Leliana said, as we bust through the door leading to the Harrowing Chamber. She was pointing to the translucent blue prison near the stairs. There was a Templar inside one his knees mumbling to himself rocking back and forth.

As we grew closer to the prison the Templar sharply looked up. When I saw his face I couldn't move, it was so twister with fear and loathing. He was pale his cheeks hollow from hunger; I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Tears started streaming down my face as looked at that man who I knew so well. A pain throbbing in my chest at the sight of him in his cell. "Cullen," I wasn't sure if I had said it out loud.

"Not this trickery again! Oh how they must have delved deep into my inner most thoughts to find you." He spat out at me. "Are you here to seduce me as you did my friends!" His voice broke on the word friends.

"No, Cullen it's really me. How could you not know? It's Amel," I sobbed.

"Be gone demon," He yelled, squeezing his eyes shut; opening them again only second later. "You're still here? But that has always worked before!"

"Before they were really demons…" I said weakly.

"You don't know what is going on up there! You have to kill them all!" He said a flash of pure hate in his eyes. "You don't know how many of them could be blood mages!" He yelled.

"I will not have the blood of innocence on my hands Cullen! I will not callously kill everyone up there! I can't do what you ask of me because of you blind hatred!" I was screaming my voice was shrill even to my own ears.

"May the Maker have mercy, because you may have doomed us all," With that said he went back on his knees head bowed muttering.

With a look back Morrigan put an arm around me and we walked up the stairs together.

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_**A/N: Okay this is it Chapter two... I hope you like it. I know it seems a little rushed but after three smoke breaks and two mountan dews, this is the best I could do! Don't hate! Read and Review please I need to know if I should keep writing or just give up because I suck!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: This chapter has been hard to write, and I have been trying I really have! It's just every time I think I should start I get lazy and go off to play videogames! **__**Boo for me right! Well I have told myself that I will get this done and give you all a small Christmas gift… This Chapter is for my little sister Megan who as I was writing this have been imagining her with a whip behind me forcing me to write! . Oh and Thank you Addira for you review it made me happy to see at least someone is reading my stuff! Oh yeah if you don't like hot Templar boom boom sookie sookie then I wouldn't read to the end… **_

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Uldred, he was always a shady man. At the time I couldn't put my finger on why, now I knew. He was a blood mage. He greeted me when we walked into the harrowing chamber like it was any other day; like he was not trying to destroy my home and the people I loved. He was flanked by two pride abominations on each side of him. Towards the back of the room and slightly off to the side were a group of mages writhing on the floor in pain. Irving was among that group. I was happy to see that he lived, and saddened at how he was being treated. Uldred and I shared some choice words, insults were thrown at each other like poison daggers. Then the battle ensued, Alistair and Sten cutting down the first two abominations quickly. Morrigan, Wynne, Leliana, and I split up to take on Uldred who had taken the form of a pride demon. On the other side of the room Oghren and Zev dispatched the last two abominations.

I cast crushing prison, holding Uldred in place so Leli could shower him with arrows and Morrigan and Wynne could shock and freeze him. I was hit from behind by one of the abominations that had slipped past Zev, knocking me to the ground causing me to crack my skull on the hard stone floor. Kicking out it fell back just in time for Oghren to run it through. Uldred tried to get control of the mages in the back but was thwarted when I used the Litany. It seemed like in the blink of an eye Alistair was rushing him, bashing him with his shield, and Sten getting the final stab right through the heart. With that it was over; we were all covered in blood, a small sticky crimson stream running down the side of my face. I rushed to Irving's side when I heard him groan.

"Thank you Amel, I owe you and your friends so much." He said as I helped him down the hall to the main door. "If you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask."

"Well, there is one thing, a child has been possessed at Redcliff and needs our help. In order to save him we need mages so we can get into the Fade." I said; I felt bad asking for mages when it was clear they needed all the help they could get to rebuild. I had no choice in this matter though; I would not kill a child or his mother so I didn't inconvenience a few mages.

"Yes, of course, when you set off towards the castle you will have the mages you need." Irving said without hesitation. "I do ask that you rest here for a night or two so we can heal the injured and be ready to leave with you. Just make camp out in the courtyard."

"Thank you Irving, it will be nice knowing we won't have to sleep in shifts!" I smiled. I kissed him on the cheek, thanked him again, and then turned to tell the others the plan. When I got about half way to my group I was stopped, as if from nowhere I was pulled into a dark alcove.

I nearly screamed when a metal clad hand was clasped over my mouth. I could feel warm breath on my neck, when my captor leaned close to whisper in my ear, "My dear, fear not it is only I." Cullen's voice sounded tense and somewhat strange. "I need to speak with you and I would like to do that without you bodyguard and lover hanging about." He said lover like it were a curse.

"M-my lover, I have no lover. Who would want to be the lover of a mage, much less a Grey Warden?" I asked skeptically, hoping he would give me the answer I was looking for.

"Well my love, I was your lover once. What do you think that says about me? But what I need to say can't be said here. Shall I meet you in your tent later on?" He asked, there just was something not quite right in his voice. But before I could answer, he threw me for a look and leaned in for an unexpected kiss on the lips. At first I stood there dumbstruck that he would do such a thin, but then I surrendered to the passion of the kiss. He pulled back so fast it was like it never happened, than he was gone. I was left staring after him like a lost puppy, my eyes wide and my heart aching.

After I informed my party of our plans to stay for a few days before heading off to Redcliff, we set up camp. Alistair made some food, we ate and all went to our tents for some much needed rest. With a sigh I drifted off to sleep; my dream was pleasant, Cullen was in my tent, holding me caressing me like he did before I left. He smelt of warm clove tea, leather, and man. He was stroking my hair whispering about how much he missed me; how he had dreamt about me.

"Mm… Cullen," I moaned in my sleep, not yet aware that the man was in my tent watching me. When I heard a soft chuckle my eyes shot open and I sat up clutching my blankets to my chest. "W-what are you doing here?" I asked in a harsh whisper afraid someone might over hear us.

He just laughed then settled himself down next to me on my bedroll. "I came to talk, but from what I hear you want to do more than that…" He leaned towards me his eyes at half mast. I knew he was going to kiss me, I wanted him to kiss me, but to my surprise he nibbled my neck. I let out a soft moan when he licked and nibbled the sweet spot where my neck and shoulder met. As if by magic, my arms went around his neck letting the blankets fall away from my now bare chest. He groaned "I see you were waiting for me." He said his voice rough with arousal. My only answer was to pull his lips to min and kiss him as my hands worked at pulling off his shirt. We were apart long enough for me to undress him before he settled between my legs.

Once in place his mouth started its assault on my left nipple, then my right, making me bite my lip to keep from yelling out with delight. When his hand slid down my torso to my now moist folds I had to bite my knuckle to stop my scream. He knew just what my body needed; with a few well placed stokes of his fingers over the little hub of nerves in my mound, I was spiraling into climax. He kissed me deeply until my head cleared long enough for me to wrap my legs around his hips urging him to enter me. He got my hint driving into my wetness hard and fast, each stroke bringing him deeper until I thought I was going to burst. Then I snapped, I felt like I had shattered in to trillions of pieces, when I felt him cum inside of me, calling out each other's name we drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning I woke in a cocoon of warmth, I had never felt so warm in my tent before. A small smile played across my lips, _I can get used to this, _I thought to myself as I burrowed deeper in to the warmth. My eyes shot open when I felt an arm come around my waist, _Maker please tell me I did not get drunk and take Zev up on his offer to warm my bed! _That is when a familiar sent registered to my senses; I knew then it was Cullen beside me not Zev. The aforementioned Templar was placing small kisses on my neck as his hand came up to cup my breast.

"I would love to wake to this every morning, if the Maker would allow it," Cullen whispered in my ear. He turned me to face him, brushing his lips to mine. I deepened the kiss something inside me wanted to stay like this forever, Blight the furthest thing from my mind at the moment. "But alas," he said ending our kiss and making me groan in disappointment, "We need to talk, we got distracted last night."

"What do we need to talk about?" I asked; dread was easing its way into my mind making me think I was not going to like the subject of discussion.

"I will not lie to you and say that I am happy to see you, or that I want you here at all in fact. I would think it better if you left and I would not have to lay eyes on the one sin I have regretted for years, still regret now since we repeated the sin last night." He said as if he were remarking on the weather.

I stood looking down at him fuming, "If you didn't want me then why did you stay here with me last night? Why talk to me at all?" I asked trying as hard as I could not to sound hurt. "Do you have no love for me at all!" The last was asked a little louder then intended.

"Love, you ask me of love? How can you call what we had love? It was and is forbidden. It was nothing but a mistake that hopefully the Maker will forgive us for, and in time you will see it this way." His voice was calm, his face void of emotion. "You are a mage and I am a Templar we should not have done what we did, but we cannot change it, I just hope nothing comes of it." He looked at my stomach, my face turned red.

Now, I was fuming "Yes, we wouldn't want that now would me. Who would want a child made out of love, anyway?" I yelled at him. I wanted so bad at that moment to blast him with a fireball, "I would not want a child with you, having to tell him or her that their father was a selfish prick who will have nothing to do with them! I love you and I thought that you loved me too. I guess I was wrong to trust yet another man in my life."

He looked hurt, I started getting dressed and was pulling on my boots when he spoke. "Goodbye Amel, may the Maker keep you safe in your travels." Then he left, he left me to crumple to the floor and cry. I don't know how long I lay there on the floor sobbing before I heard someone enter my tent.

"Mel, we we're all wondering if we were going to be leaving today," It was Morrigan, at the sight of me on the floor she rushed over. "My friend, what has happened to you? I saw that Templar leave your tent seemingly angry, did he hurt you?" She looked genuinely concerned for me.

"H-hurt me? Morrigan, he ripped my heart out and feasted on it in front of my eyes!" I felt cold, like when Jowen and I would skinny dip in the lake when no one was around. "I never thought I could hurt this much and not be bleeding…" I was crying again, _Maker woman stop blubbering over that stick up the ass Templar shouldn't be able to hurt you like this! You killed a brood mother, broken limbs, and fought an army of undead! This hurt is nothing; if you can't survive this kiss your ass good bye in the last battle! _My mind was lecturing me! I couldn't even bemoan how I just lost the love of my life in my own mind.

Morrigan did something I never would have thought she was capable of; she hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder. "He obviously is not worth you tears nor your time. He also does not see what a treasure he is throwing away without a second thought," She said. "You need to pull yourself together and save the child we came here to save and be done with it." She said this as if it were the easiest thing to do; with another hug she left me alone.

After pulling up camp we went to the tower to get the mages we needed and went to Redcliff. From there on I entered the Fade, made a deal with a demon, saved a child and learned forbidden magic. Although I never had to use and of the blood magic I had learned, I felt like I failed myself and everything I stood for just by knowing I had the power to use it. We got the Urn, saved the Arl of Redcliff; I got arrested, escaped prison, made Alistair a king, and ultimately saved the world… If it were not for these people I traveled with all this time I would have died at Ostagar. Never would I have thought I could ever be "The Hero of Ferelden" in my lifetime. With the Blight defeated, I could go and live my own life. I decided to travel with Zev and put off going home for a time…

I knew that I would have to go back there soon, sooner then I knew at the time. But that is a tale for another time…

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A/N: Here you go the end of Part two! And it's only 3:37am! Thank you for reading please tell me how you liked it, or if you didn't tell me what I need to work on! I can take it just don't be so mean that I have to go in my emo corner and grow my mushrooms... Thanks to those who have reviewed already and to Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew for fueling this story lol I will now start working on Part 3(After the Blight)


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